Just came back from church. Beier felt sick and vomitted at church and i sent her home >.< Hope she gets well soon!
CT results are overall a real big disappointment :( Im still trying to get 4H2 for senior high but that requires like... a 3.4 GPA! >< that's high for me...
Haiz really dont get why the school needs such a high GPA JUST for 4H2. Other JCs have almost all their students doing 4H2s. And for most scholarships, that's a minimum requirement. Wonder WHY the school wants to stop their students from getting scholarship. OMG WHY DID I CHOOSE THIS SCHOOL ARGH
I mean yea.. the school's pretty nice and all but... seriously? Some of their desicions are weird. Maybe they just wanna increase their percentage of As for A Levels... just speculating (and tbh i really think so)
Okayy, that's all for today. Here's my first (and hopefully only) whine posts.
I needa do this. Argh school is pissing me off so bad :(
HEY PPL. Just wanna say I'm very VERY happy to say that i've not been spending a huge amount of time with my head bent over my phone this national day holidays. YAY 我不时低头族！
It has been a real happening week, marking the end of CTs and a lot more time spent in church! :)
Chem and Math 2 were pretty hard... let's just say that Chem didn't work out AGAIN and it was one of those rare moments that my brain wasn't working during Math 2. But what's done IS done, and i can't possibly go back and change everything so let's leave it be for now. Besides, CTs is a very boring topic to blog on. ;)
Class CIP
IT WAS FUN! MY GROUP MANAGED TO GET 103 NOTES SO PROUD OF US <3 And AMAZING MS POH AND MR HAN TREATED US TO DONUTS! :D WHOOTS!
CARNIVALLOUS
Well, it IS a success...for the church. And i AM very proud of trinitarians for bringing their friends along. AND as a whole it was very fun and enjoyable. :) Can't say i regret going. But there's this one thing. Okay, maybe a few that keep me from truly enjoying and declaring that it was a VERY good carnival. No, im not gonna post what these are on the blog, but i just needed to state my displeasure. However, overall, the carnical was great. :)
Oh, and i invited Enyou to the carnival! :)
GEM
GEM WAS GREAT! :) It was amazing and wonderful in ways i cannot express :) God spoke to me and well, i think i know what to do with my life now with his careful guidance :) Come and join us, you will REALLY encounter God :)
Service
Service wasn't very impactful. But it was FUN :) It was more for those who are called to nurture christians, to be spiritual parents. I dont think i'm that. I dont like following through a process. I get bored :P
Anyways, i was thinking... i have quite a few posts with my friends and their photos... what if they bcome teachers next time and students stalk them like i do? LOL anyway just a random thought. So this is to all those future students out there: MAKE THE MOST OUT OF IT! ;) And all the best in stalking!
I dont know if this week's been good or bad....Tests and all.
I dont even know how i did....it's either im doing everything right or well...everything wrong >.<
Anyways... I've been listening to covers on youtube and those by Sam Tsui, Alex Goot and Against the Current (Chrissy's really goooood) are pretty good :) Go listen!
OMG I'm frigging worried about CTs and all...there's so much to study with so little time! Everyone's feeling the stress now, and we are all freaking out!
Oh... and i've started a food instagram so go check it out... my name is: the_singaporean_foodie :) YAY
Sorry for 'abandoning' this blog for a whole month, but i really missed blogging....so here i am! Term 3 is such a tough time, im like rushing to revise for CTs with tons of hw and presentations to prepare at the same time! ARGH >.<
But at the same time i luv the business.
AND ANTR WAS SUCH A SUCCESS! <3
LOVE THIS AWSOME PEOPLE
Really thankful that i had this really awsome team to see us thru this wonderful journey. And our mentor too, Weiqi, who is not in the pic xP
THE EVENT WAS CHAOTIC EXCITING AND AMAZING :D
New LA Cher is great too :) she's really strict and sacarstic, but she's equally funny and cool in her own unique way :)
And i dont need to take electives coz of LDP YAY :D
ok... thats all the main stuff that happened for the past month
OH and i need to give the presentation on ANTR this coming fri :)
I think that's all for now... coz well...the title >.<
It's been a hazy week (which explains the title ;)) but the haze is getting better so far, with all the cloud seeding and change of wind direction.
well, cant say i enjoy the haze but... well, as a fellow twitter user puts it, 'this is the closest i've gotton to a natural disaster, and it's slightly, just slightly, EXCITING'
it has certainly been a happening week, and i've never appreciate twitter that much. singaporeans have apparently been able to look on the bright side of the haze, with the memes and all, and i've nv seen singaporeans this united
FROM YAHOO NEWS ;)
everyone's always eagerly looking out for the PSI and the ocasional funny vids
and i find that Singaporeans are really cute HAHA ;) or maybe its just our generation eh x)
Now the singaporean fashion is to wear mask, N95 or not.
ok, onto more serious issues that i really want to express my views on...
Indonesia calling us childish...
and then saying this:
HEHEHE DAMN JOKE
who's the childish one here? the smoke THEY are causing is affecting the daily lives of Singaporeans, we definitely have the right to complain and ask them to take action. i understand that by calling us childish, they are trying to prevent Malaysia from pressuring them as well, but seriously? dont u think....that by calling us childish, it is ironically proving that they are the childish ones instead? (plus come on lah, they think they are the only ones that have trees meh, aiyo)
And then saying that they are not gonna apologise...
OMG hahahha i kindda burst out laughing when i read that. and i certainly agree with our Law and Foreign Minister that we are so NOT asking for their apology. come on, they have been apologising for the haze that has been happening EVERY YEAR. we dont need another insignificant and meaningless apology, we need this HAZE to stop enveloping our country. i think we understand if they need time to correct this issue but the way they put it, it is as if we are demanding an apology and it is not their fault. come on, even the newspapers have published that the fire is from lands owned by indonesian companies, and even if it has been spread by the farmers, well....they are their people.
they told the press that the Indonesian companies should not be blamed...
and b4 that they were trying to blame our Singaporean companies, how nice.
haha ok so that's all for hazy issues for now :) glad that its getting better now.
Anyways...yep sleepless nights. Haven't been able to fall asleep the past few nights seems like my insomnia's acting up again HAIZ
And so... with all the trying to sleep, lying on the bed doing nth... i kindda did lots and lots of brain work also known as thinking.
I think i've changed a lot lately...or to be exact the past 1 year.
yea not only physically but well mentally/emotionally too i guess?
Sure, i've grown taller by quite a bit and i guess im uncovering more abt me and who i am... hey but im no where near.
And if you ask me... i really hate myself at times.
And i mean that negative feeling is getting stronger.
And no not that i wanna kill myself or anything liddat.
It's more of a 'i really really feel like bashing myself up' kindda thing.
It's like i really dunno why i give the wrong reation at times.
Dont give me the you are supposed to be yourself and theres no such thing as wrong reation and all
And this is not a poem even tho this line by line thing makes it seem like one.
It's just that im used to reading ppl, and giving them the reaction i want
And that includes suppressing what i really wanna say and do
I just well serve to please
But lately that's not the case
I am seriously NOT giving people the reactions they want, and well that's wierd
And i get cranky....and im no longer slow to anger.
I get angry pretty fast now..... and argh i have some problems hiding it.
Which feels weird.
And i can't keep smiling when i dont feel like it anymore.
Like i mean if something goes wrong i cant keep the smile on my face
Like it will momentarily appear then disappear
Which feels weird coz.... well i smile a lot
Ok end of rant and all >_< i really dont want my blog to become some ranting site
SO... back to sleepless nights
I think i have a split personality. Or at least sth liddat. And i know which one is the real me... but i dont want to part with... the other me.
Makes sense?^
hmm let's just say the smart aleck, care-free kid you see most of the time... was built by me. Was established strongly and put in action since i was young. A projection of what i want others to see me as. And well... that's not the real me. This me doesnt hv a care in the world, has a slight AP, might be slightly AA and is a real friendly person...and this person is actually not me. Pretty creepy huh. I really dunno when i started with this but it's like what i want people to see me as. well, im not dropping it any time soon... it works well in this society i guess.
Well, as for the real me...i guess its slowly revealing itself while i fight it off so i can keep on my cover^
As far as i know, i dont trust anyone, analyses every single person i see and can be quite focus >< yep, lets just say i discovered i cant trust anyone HAIZ which you can kindda explain y i nv have many good friends...simply bcoz i dont trust everyone and anyone around me! And well i caught myself judging others too many times to count... which is scary.
So... that's all for today i guess. I hope i dont freak anyone out.
Alone with my bro at home for these 3 days. Had fun! :)
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